I find myself holding grudges, though I don’t mean to.
Okay, what that really means is that I know I shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop me.
Do you have trouble holding grudges, either consciously or unconsciously? Does it matter whether or not harm was meant?
Should it matter?
How do we judge the actions and motives of others? Do we take circumstances outside our knowledge into account, such as the person’s background or current circumstances? Or do we, without hesitation, view every offense as an intentional injury? We are wired via human nature to hold others accountable. We feel it’s our right, even our duty. After all, people shouldn’t get away with doing that, not to us or anyone else.
In my upcoming novel, Like There’s No Tomorrow, the hero, Ian, faces his longstanding mortal hatred for a man who wronged and wounded him deeply. Ian can’t let go of his bitterness, and understandably. After all, he’s human. Humans are self-preserving. We are wired for survival. This is logical. We are logical.
But God is often not logical, and is, in fact, the God of Irony, as I have learned and am reminded again and again. A few examples:
- But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Matt 5:44)
- Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. (Rom 12:14)
- Vengeance is mine. (not yours) (Rom 12:19)
God’s ways are too often incomprehensible, too often unnatural to our way of thinking. Perhaps unnatural because He is supernatural. To align ourselves with the supernatural (and God-illogical) requires an uncomfortable amount of surrender and blind faith.
In this above-mentioned story, Emily, the heroine, suggests that Ian try praying for the man who wronged him. After all, she says, what can it hurt?
Is it possible to be free from bitterness and feel only compassion for the one who hurt you?
I bared my soul over a similar situation in THIS POST. No, you’re right, it’s no coincidence that a real-life experience ended up in my novel. Art has an interesting way of imitating life (or is it the other way around?).
I hope you will get a chance to read the book and keep the miracle that inspired that part of the story in mind. If you do, I’d be very interested in hearing your thoughts.
Q: Have you ever prayed for an enemy? If so, what happened?
Camille Eide
Along The Banks 
How interesting that I found your blog post today since I am having one of those times when God is calling me up to see things from His position and my flesh wants to stay down in the hurt and pain. What you said was right on. My emotions want to stay in control when I have been wronged and misrepresented and maligned. My mind knows the truth that Jesus walked through all of it and loved and did not pick up offense. It is so hard to do in my own strength but then I remember that I have not been left alone. The helper, who is God himself,
dwells in me. He is waiting for me to surrender my ways so I can walk in His power. It is all there for the taking and asking but I must trust that He will be my vindicator and I must let go of my agenda, my hurt, my self preservation. Oh, Lord, how I need you! Thank you that You really are all I need!
What a beautiful reminder, Anne, that Christ both sympathizes with our suffering AND empowers us. What a loving God!
I don’t believe I could have chosen to fully let go, since I thought I had but it was a half-hearted surrender. It took a challenge that God whispered to my heart to do the unthinkable—to pray for the offender. If not for that, I never would have discovered what miracles can come from it. It has reinforced my understanding that God is the Master of Irony, and that he can make things work better and far more easily than if we did it our way—if we will just surrender. That’s when we see the miraculous. Sometimes we need look no further than our own heart for it. 😉
Thanks for sharing & for being transparent, Anne. Thank you also for the reminder and encouragement to trust Him.