Has your God-given path ever hit a detour and God was nowhere in sight?
In Braveheart, a ragtag Scottish army prepared to fight the British and take back their land. In one scene, Wallace’s men were outnumbered. Though they fought hard, they were losing ground. Just when they needed help most, the noblemen who promised to help rode away, abandoning them. Their only edge disappeared, and at the worst possible moment. Without hope, the Scots continued to fight, but outmatched and disheartened by betrayal, they faced certain defeat. Their chance of survival—much less winning the battle—had gone from slim to none. Assured of victory now, the British army moved in to finish the kill. But suddenly, the mounted nobles reappeared and surrounded the exposed enemy in a surprise flank attack, turning the battle and bringing victory for the Scots that day.
It’s tough to keep hope alive when the situation appears bleak and is only getting worse. Even Jesus’ disciples gave in to hopelessness when the plan they counted on fell apart. When Jesus was arrested, his disciples fled. Getting on the Romans’ bad side was not part of the plan. They had expected Jesus to end Roman tyranny and redeem Israel. All their hopes were in him. But when Jesus was arrested and taken away, the disciples crumbled in fear and scattered. Then, if his arrest wasn’t alarming enough, Jesus was killed. That definitely wasn’t part of the plan.
Following the crucifixion, the grieving disciples were bewildered and discouraged. Everything they hoped for was gone. The dream God birthed in their hearts had collapsed. How could this happen? How could God’s plan to redeem his people go so terribly wrong?
Who wouldn’t feel abandoned in a time like that?
Later, as a couple men walked to Emmaus, the resurrected Christ joined them. Not recognizing him, they shared their confusion and despair. It took a while to realize who he was, and that God had been walking beside them the whole time.
If only they’d had more faith, right? How could they not know God had a plan and everything was under control? How could they doubt the goodness of God’s intentions?
Years ago, as our two young sons grew, I asked God for a daughter, and eventually, my prayers were answered with a pregnancy. But with it came symptoms of pending miscarriage. For days, we prayed for intervention. Surely God would save this child. Surely this was the girl I had longed for. But after days of praying and no change in symptoms, God quietly challenged my heart:
Let her go.
What? How could letting go of the child you gave me in answer to prayer be part of the plan?
Give her to Me.
Not logical, God! Why would You give her to me and then take her back?
I wondered how Abraham reacted when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac, his only son, the son God had promised him. The son given to fulfill a God-sized dream of fathering a nation, a dream that God had placed in him. Talk about illogical . . .
After crying and arguing with God, I said, “Do you even know what you’re asking me to give up?”
I knew his answer before it came.
Yes, I do.
Abraham also did something illogical: he chose obedience to God over love for his only son, his one shot at the dream. In spite of how backwards and heartbreaking things appeared. Abraham’s future clearly lay on that altar, and yet he placed his future, his dream, his ultimate hope, in God’s hands.
I didn’t understand why God gave me my heart’s desire only to take it away, but I knew I needed to trust him whatever his reason, regardless the outcome. I agreed to “give ” my daughter to the Lord, whether that meant he took her now or later. It shredded my heart.
But in the midst of that heart-rending surrender, God’s peace fell, soothed my heart and filled me. God had his reasons and a plan for good that I didn’t see. I would trust him no matter what.
After Abraham agreed to surrender his promised son, God provided a ram as a substitute. The son Abraham was prepared to give to the Lord was given back. The same day I let go and gave my unborn child back to the Lord, the threat of miscarriage vanished. She had been returned to us, but we knew from then on that she was only ours on loan. God had a purpose for her and she belonged to him.
I don’t tell this story to say every heart’s desire we surrender to the Lord will be given back. But rather, it reminds me that God has a plan we don’t always see, a plan for our ultimate good, no matter how illogical it seems. Like the disciples, we can miss Jesus walking beside us in our pain and confusion and disappointment.
If only we could trust God enough to remember there is a bigger picture and better plan than what we see with our limited vision. We may be surprised and dismayed by a downturn of events, but God is not surprised. He’s also not worried.
Maybe I needed to surrender something I clung too tightly to. Maybe that surrender was for my heart, or maybe it was so our daughter would know she is a special gift in order to give her confidence in God’s plan for her life. Or maybe both.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Have you ever had a God-given plan or dream that God seems to have abandoned?
Camille,
It’s the end of a long day here.
But I am so glad I ended the day by reading this post.
Lots of truth found in your words.
And I love how you always, always, always point me back to God.
Thank you, my friend.
And to answer your question: Yes, I’ve wrestled with God over abandoned dreams — dreams I thought He’d given me.
Sometimes I still do.
And it always comes down to who am I putting my trust in?
Me … and my plans?
Or Him — even when what He’s doing — or not doing — doesn’t make sense?
Thanks for your transparency, Beth. I’m just glad it all makes sense to him, and that’s what counts, huh?
Yet another really inspiring and challenging post, Camille. I so enjoy hearing your spiritual ponderings. No pat answers, just a willingness to ask questions with an open heart.
Yes, I’ve had lots of questions for God, and I’m thankful that sometimes He’s gracious enough to open my eyes of faith so I can see the bigger picture. But often it’s in hindsight. I think it’s part of our growing process–do first, understand/grow after.
You reminded me that there’s a reason it’s called “blind faith.” You nailed it. Thanks for your honesty, Emily.
Oh, yes. And as I realize my mortality more each day, 62 and counting, I realize I might NEVER see the newest desires of my heart, but what guided me most of my life, my desire to see my children happy and healthy was given to me in full, so how can I complain about desires that are solely for me, solely for my gratification when the true, deepest cravings of my life have all come true?
What a beautiful post! I’ve definitely felt this way before, even with writing. His plans are better than ours though, that’s something I’ve learned. And am still learning. Thanks Camille!
Thank you so much. I needed this reminder that the path is often revealed in retrospect. It is so easy to forget God’s goodness. Thank you! Blessings.
Many blessings to you, my friend. I’m glad God forgives our short-sightedness. He is always faithful, and it gives me hope knowing I can always count on his goodness, that he has my best in mind, that he will always do the RIGHT thing, even if it seems anything but.
Indeed. Thanks again. 🙂 Blessings.
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What a beautiful story, Camille. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Bonnie, and thanks again for sharing your hope-inspiring story: http://mtlmagazine.com/article/ordinary-women-extraordinary-lives-2/
[…] before she was born, we knew God had his hand on her life. I shared the story of how God asked us to “give her to him” at a time when the pending birth of a daughter […]
I didn’t see this post the first time around, Camille, but I was so touched by it tonight. Yes, I have a huge one that still burdens me. I have a son who I love and had such dreams for. I did my own “Hannah” prayer for him the day he was born 30-some years ago. He lives as an atheist now and my heart is so torn and I have wondered “God, do you remember that I gave him to you that day? Don’t let him go. PleasePleasePlease.” Thanks for the encouragement to pray and trust. That’s all I can do. Good reminder!